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Body Language…Understand it, Use it, Master it - PART I
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Posted by J Kel |
This article was submitted by Heine Nzumafo
I will start by apologizing for the nature of this article. Though this piece may seem directed at men, kinesics, the recent phenomenon in the domain of human communication is beneficial to everyone. The same principles apply in all cases. Experts on human communication generally hold that verbal communication is most effective for the transmission of information, whereas kinesics, the language of the body, is much more accurate at conveying our feelings.
Our bodies seldom lie, so body language provides a lot more information than we are conscious of; we also use it a lot more than we realize, in fact it is a continuous process. When gauging the level of interest we arouse in a person we are sexually attracted to, we are reading, and dispatching cues, simultaneously, and unconsciously, often with quite remarkable accuracy. We are, in fact, flirting. The conversation might be trivial but much more is being communicated through subtle, and not so subtle gestures, and postures. These gestures and postures (body language) can be understood and mastered. We all have met the “consummate flirt”. He or she may even be physically unattractive, but somehow always seems able to command the attention of the opposite sex, and always has someone gorgeous on their arm, or in their bed. It’s his or her use of body language. They may not appeal to everyone, but they can identify who is interested in them and who isn't. They simply do not waste time with those that aren't interested in them, and therefore appear to have infinite charm.
The first and most obvious cue that tells how we really feel is facial expression. Two sentences of the exact same composition can have very different, in fact opposite meanings depending on the facial clues. Let's say for example you ask the best fried of a female you are interested in how the object of your desire really feels about you. She replies as follows: "Linda thinks you are a really terrific guy." If she responds first with a half-hearted sort of smile, and bites her lip while telling you this, too bad for you. Look elsewhere for Ms. right. The biting of a lip says these lips are telling you more than you are hearing with your ears. The next word you will likely hear from them is 'but'. If this message is delivered however with a genuine smile, I mean a really 'zygomatic' smile then you can contemplate asking Linda out and reasonably expect a favorable response. A zygomatic smile is the real item, a genuine heartfelt smile that involves upturned corners of the mouth, wrinkling at the eyes, or crow's feet, and utilizes very many more facial muscles than we can easily control voluntarily. It is therefore virtually impossible to fake the zygomatic smile, and most of us, while not necessarily knowing it, can distinguish it from its poor cousin, the phony smile.
We may say one thing with our lips, but the savvy interpreter of body language, will understand our true meaning every time. You too, may observe this next time you are involved in a one on one with a member of the other sex. They can be understood and mastered, as evidenced by the phenomenon of the 'consummate flirt' we have all met before. You just need to be more aware, pay attention to minute gestures!
Learning to recognize and interpret the physical signals that women send with their bodies will greatly enhance understanding of their feelings toward a man. Upon entering a room where men are present, for instance, a woman will often signal her desire to meet someone with a wide ranging glance around the room, typically lasting five to ten seconds and noticeable by its scope, which attempts to take in the widest possible array of potential subjects while not specifically targeting any one in particular. Shortly after this first assessment glance, she may offer two or three targeted glances of short duration at specific men, lasting less than three seconds on average, again with a noticeable rotating of the head from between 25 to 40 degrees. This second type of gaze might persist for some time alternating with pausing intervals. If her gaze is returned, she may engage in a third type of gaze, lasting longer than three seconds, and possibly followed by a smile, slight pouting, a head toss or other such gesture.
Continue to ..... Body Language…Understand it, Use it, Master it - PART II
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