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Posted by J Kel |
This article was submitted by Heine Nzumafo
continued from .... The “thing” About Affairs - Part I
In the beginning I asserted that everyone should have an affair. I am not suggesting to anyone to go about cheating on his or her partners. My suggestion is that everyone has an affair WITH his or her partner. It could be an ongoing affair or a recurrent one, but by all means, have an affair. I am sure I need not go into why, because it should be obvious by now. But how do you go about such an affair? There are many ways. Initially, I mentioned three variables – Accessibility, Time and Space. Most often couples find themselves in situations that have one or two or all three totally unlimited. For example, when they spend the weekend together. It is easy to go through the entire weekend, each person going about his or her business without paying much attention to the other. And that’s okay based on the circumstances but over time it could be destructive.
In many cases however, one or two of the variables are limited. Take for example at work. If the couple work together, they are both accessible, the time is unlimited, but the space to get intimate is restricted if not absent. Get creative and find a way! Five minutes alone might amount to nothing but bring lasting memories. Besides, no one in the office can know…isn’t that thrilling! That affair can last as long as the couple works together. I’ll give another scenario. For simplicity I won’t stray fast from the first. Say the couple work in the same city, a few miles apart. Say for instance, their home is a drive away, plus there are kids ready to drive them both crazy once they got home. During the busy day, something could happen. With time and space limited, a 30-minute break at a comfortable retreat midway could make a huge difference. Remember, no body has to know! Besides when you both get home who knows, you may not have the time.
You can have affairs anywhere, anyhow, at any time. There are many forbidden places and forbidden times. Let those places and times present nothing but an opportunity to have a momentous affair. Make it recurring if you can. If you can succeed at that, then you have the physical component of what affairs have. The physical aspects are common to all relationships. As for the psychological component, I’m sorry I wonder if I can suggest enough. Every relationship is different and couples face different psychological deficiencies. For that reason, people may have an affair based on psychological deficiencies, no matter how good the physical relationship is between the couple. But let that not stop anyone from trying, because the adrenaline rush common to all affairs can be experienced repeatedly in long lasting relationships.
Sex is more powerful that any of us realize. We go about enjoying it casually without stopping to think for a moment the implications it has on relationships and our lives. It does not make the relationship and by itself cannot sustain the relationship, but when you think of spontaneity, excitement, inhibition, romance, passion, desire, sex becomes an important factor in any relationship, because these elements keep a couples’ desire for each other. Not the money, not the kids, not the success or the love. All these factors help, but none alone is sufficient. It is therefore important that over time, couples continue to show at least the same degree of physical attention to each other, and it doesn’t have to mean sex. Because I know most people, especially men would link anything physical to sex.
Life is tough and that impacts many relationships over time. But free your mind. Let it run wild with the most crazy of thoughts. If we can do that every now and then, then we will always be sure to rekindle the excitement and passion in our relationships. Its easier said than done, but you don’t lose anything from trying. Affairs are good, because no one has to know, they are good because the effort and investment in the moment is 100%. They are good because they have a positive impact on the way we feel about ourselves. So why can’t we try to have affairs with the person we are with? It would be great. If I can do things persistently with my lady that no one has to know; disappear for an hour or two, a day or two, sneak behind close doors, get busy in restricted circumstances…hmm…I doubt I’d have the need for “another” affair.
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